A few words on half a century

me_red2  My daughter reminded me recently that fifty was the new thirty. "Remember that," she wrote in her text.

Thirty doesn’t show in the mirror–fifty does.

Half a century looks good on some people. Or perhaps it’s their projection of the last century. Or that high-priced epidermis removal that scrubs away the overly-used top layer, revealing the baby smooth skin beneath. The past removed. Who knew it could be so easy?

More concerning are the creaks and aches I wake with. The knee aches the day after a bike ride. The right wrist I broke in 2006 when it’s cold outside. I’ve traded menses for migraines.

And even more concerning are a few ideas that have haunted me for awhile and I would like to put to rest.

1. George Orwell on ‘Why I Write.’

I have done my damnedest to disprove the statement he wrote, that writers are basically a lazy lot. I have come to disagree with him on this issue, simply because I rarely have time to be lazy. If I’m lounging, I’m thinking about what needs to be done, completed, edited, etc.

So I’ve come to this: Mister Orwell was speaking for himself. He had such a guilty conscience, he had to make a sweeping generalization about all writers being lazy, so he wouldn’t feel alone.

2. The End of the World.

I don’t believe in the apocalyptic tweaking of Mayan codices. I’ve read the Popol Vuh too and that’s not what it said.

3. Contemporary grunge/Thrift Store Chic.

Despite my manner of dress, I am not homeless. Nor do I live in a tent down by the river. When I sit down at a cafe to enjoy a cup of coffee people may not throw money at me or offer to purchase a meal, but they do tend to talk and despite my hearing loss, I do hear the louder, [read: more obnoxious] among them.

I happen to think thrift store chic is much more fashionable than the pink and purple crap some of the more economically viable of our female species happens to be wearing. I may see fifty when I look in the mirror, but I also see C-O-O-l. Thank you very much.

4. The Decline of Intellectualism.

Hogwash. There will always be curious, wonderful intellectuals and anyone who says different is stupid.

There may be a decline in intelligentsia, because few can afford a university education these days. The backlash of morons who can’t stand the idea that others are more educated than them, tend to keep the more educated hidden.

In Arkansas there’s a saying: "I don’t need no edyoocayshun to know how to butcher hogs."

What it means is, ‘I’ll show you how damn smart you are.’

5. The next fifty years.

I hope for global peace, the end of poverty, population control, environmental cleanup, romance, a jet pack that won’t kill me, trips to Greece and Ireland, a hot-air balloon ride, to live a long, healthy, productive, happy life and drink good coffee without it screwing with my bladder.

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